Which Avengers Superhero Would Cristiano Ronaldo Be?

Cristiano Ronaldo has been a talisman for Manchester United, Real Madrid, and now Juventus. But which superhero would he be in The Avengers universe?

I personally like Deadpool. I would like to believe Cristiano is Deadpool but there are too many giveaways that break the argument. The good looks alone puts this debate out of water. But even before we get to that, Deadpool is not an Avenger despite all his yearning to be one.

With respect to being one of Earth’s mightiest heroes – at least when it comes to football – Ronaldo can be anyone in the Avengers. The Portuguese is just that good. He can be Hawkeye with his goalscoring precision. Hawkeye walks with his bow and arrows and hits his target with ease. Ronaldo has 638 goals to his name. It has been 14 years since the last time he scored less than 23 goals in a calendar year.

He can even be the Black Widow. There is a gender issue but we should get over that. The Widow is an espionage expert and adapts to her surroundings. Ronaldo left Madeira for Lisbon at the age of 12 and has been on the move since. He joined Manchester United as a teenager. Moved to Real Madrid at 24. After nine years in the Spanish capital, he left as a legend. He is 35 and just won the Serie A again. Ronaldo knows Portuguese, English, Spanish, and Italian. He can fit in any culture.

Iron Man has many similarities with him, being a billionaire and a playboy are his trademarks. Ronaldo just became the first billionaire footballer and is still going strong on the pitch. Off the pitch, his playboy lifestyle days are long gone but if you make a list of former girlfriends and hookups, you will be amazed.

What about Captain America? He was made Captain Portugal in 2008, three years before Captain America hit the screen and launched the career of Chris Evans into the stratosphere. He was capped by Portugal at 18 and has not looked back since. But then again, he was not induced by a serum to be the man he is, he has achieved that with blood and sweat on the pitch.

There are comparisons to be had with Thor and Hulk. A man who has played 40 or more games for eighteen years should be considered in that bracket. However, to ascertain his Avengers’ identity, and hone in on more similarities, it is only correct to glimpse over his impressive career achievements.

Ronaldo has won everything there is to win at the club level. The Champions League, Premier League, La Liga, Serie A, FA Cup, Football League Cup, Community Shield, FIFA Club World Cup, Supercopa de Espana, Copa del Rey, UEFA Super Cup, and Supercoppa Italiana. Only the Coppa Italia has eluded him at the club level.

With the Portuguese national team, he is a European champion and bagged the inaugural Nations League. Only the World Cup winner’s medal is out of his trophy room.

This trophy-laden era has seen Ronaldo hit 638 club goals and a further 99 international ones against his name. He has five Ballon d’Ors to his name. He has won the Pichichi, Puskas, Premier League Golden Boot, and European Golden Shoe.

So, which superhero does he resemble the most? Which superhero would you want him to be if the fate of the world depended on it?

In my opinion, it has to be Iron Man. The similarities are too many there. Ronaldo has won everything but lost battles too. The 2019-20 season was a long and arduous one. He lost two cup finals but won the Serie A, the ultimate prize for a year’s toil. Iron Man wins his battles and every now and then has lost some too. To exemplify with a popular reference, Captain America: Civil War showcases this. Captain America beat him to a pulp.

Keeping on track with Civil War, the family dynamics are similar. Howard Stark was an absentee father and it was Maria Stark who nourished him as a child. Ronaldo’s father, Jose Dinis Aveiro, was an alcoholic and it was her mother, Maria Dolores, who is to be credited for bringing him up. The sisters also get credit but Tony was a single child and we will be divulging from the topic. Coincidently both mothers have the same first name.

But what makes Ronaldo Tony Stark is his performance in the Euro 2016 final. He did it all to get Portugal in the final and just after the half-hour mark got injured. A crying Ronaldo unable to continue is reminiscent of Iron Man. The emotions are not properly conveyed in the comics but watch any Avengers movie and you have Iron Man as the one willing to sacrifice himself for others. The Avengers: Age of Ultron, had that. And in Infinity War the ultimate sacrifice is made. You could see Ronaldo try and force himself to stay on the pitch but had to come off to give Portugal a chance.

It is even more pronounced in Juventus’ Champions League performances. Atletico Madrid and Diego Simeone thought they had knocked the Old Lady out of the competition but the actual Iron Man had other ideas. Ajax were the better side and deserved to progress but it put out of perspective real-life Tony Stark scoring across both legs. It was more of the same this year. Ronaldo huffed and puffed to a brace but it was not enough to carry Juventus forward.

Both Cristiano and Tony are similar to the fact that they are naturally gifted in their respective fields. But that has not made them stop and rest on their laurels. They are seen continuously improving, metamorphizing into someone better. Tony with the improved Iron Man suits, Ronaldo with his positioning on the pitch and physical conditioning that has allowed him to maintain his proficiency despite his age.

But this is not where the similarities end. Both Tony Stark and Cristiano Ronaldo are cocky. They like to be in everyone’s face and gloat about themselves. Ronaldo loves to proclaim he is the best footballer in the world. Tony on the other hand told the world he was Iron Man. They like fame and thrive in it. They like the attention and the responsibility placed on their shoulders.

After discussing all this, it is easy to decipher which Avenger Ronaldo would be. It has to be Iron Man, isn’t it?

Feature Graphics: © Enrico Carnevale for The Cult of Calcio